Privacy Policy For Summarsole.co.uk

Introduction

All of us at Summar Sole respect your privacy on and off the website. We would never look through your living room windows on date night or any other night. We also would not look through your windows during daylight hours either, just in case you think we were setting up a legal loophole to aid voyeurism.

We are committed to protecting your personal data which includes actions and advice such as but is not excluded to:

1. Advising you to put a condom over your diary.
2. If you send a dick pick then put black tape over the “eye” to hide your identity.
3. Putting a sign on the server saying “keep out”.
4. Not letting anyone that looks like a hacker into the office (sometimes that makes it difficult for some of the rough-looking mums and partners delivering lunch)

Selling Your Data

Under no circumstances will we ever sell, barter, trade, exchange or give away your data to anyone else for money, live stock or sexual favours.The data collected from Summer Sole will only ever be used for the benefit of www.summersole.co.uk. This policy shows commitment. Not that we should be committed but that we respect your privacy.

Controller

The controller is something that turns the TV on and off or the dominant person in a relationship but in the context of a privacy policy we suspect we are “the controller”. If you have any questions about the controller such as where is it or your partner is being unreasonable then please do not contact us. Should you want to know more about what we are doing with the information we have collected on you then please feel free to contact us but the answer will most likely be “nothing, we are too busy writing stuff”.

Should you have any data protection inquiries then in the first instance please ask yourself do you really want to be that person? If the answer is yes then…sigh….ok, contact us.

Changes To The Privacy Policy

As this privacy policy ages, it may experience changes such as hot flahses as it goes through the manyclause. We will endeavour to keep you informed of this as much as possible with the limited enthusiasm we have for these required documents.

Third Party Links.

These are superior to second party links so be grateful we only use the best. These may take you to other places we have no control over and you then are subject to their privacy policy which could be less strict and considerably more boring.

Cookies

We use cookies a lot, especially the stale ones to throw at the neighbours’ dog crapping on our lawn (for the litigious animal lovers out there, the stale cookies are imaginary so in real life we are just waving our arms at garden dogs and then feeling hungry)

The computer cookies are required for several reasons important to us. It enables the website to perform better but also allows us to collect revenue from any affiliate links you clicked and then went on to purchase something (we don’t do this stuff for free!) So please enable cookies for www.summarsole.co.uk

The Data We Collect About You

There is data that specifically identifies you e.g. your birth certificate and driver’s licence. We do not collect these when you visit Summar Sole.

Any data we do collect about you will primarily be for us to remain of interest to you or for you to be a member of the website. We don’t want to be sending emails that start with dear sir/madam/sadam (someone who identifies as sir and madam).

Any sensitive information about you and stored with us will likely be because you overshared during an email exchange, live chat session, forum contribution etc and it was backed up as a matter of course and forgotten about. Any access to archives will be for research, back up restoration and other similar tasks.

Technical Data

Your PC is quite chatty when it starts gossiping with our server. It tells us things like the operating system, browser software, time you opened the page etc. We collect and store this data for several reasons, none including interesting reading for a Friday night. It enables us to improve the website experience for our users.

Promotional Offers And General Marketing

in our opinion, sometimes we have something interesting to say. Being needy and requiring constant ego massage, we would like to share it with you in the hope we get a “well done”, “cheers mate” or deafening silence from you.

We will use any information we hold about you as a guide to ensure it is at least a bit relevant. Sometimes it might just be that you are a human but we endeavour to be a bit more focused than that.

We will give you the option of opting out but we advise you not to in case there is something really good.

Opting Out

If you think we are talking testicles and don’t want to hear anything from us then fine, we don’t want to waste the cost of a first-class email sending it you. We don’t want to send anyone anything that has no value to them so feel free to let us know or make changes in your account settings. There will be no hard feelings because we cannot be all things to everyone all the time and just repress those emotions leading to excess chocolate biscuit consumption. There, are you happy now?

Your Legal Rights

Traffic lights change less than data protection laws so we will make it as simple as possible for you. You can know everything we store about you and can have us delete it entirely if you wish. If it is incorrect, we will change it.

You can even know if someone created a Post-it note with a smiley face that might resemble you. Whatever it is about your data, if it causes you a problem thinking about e.g. preventing orgasm, then let us know and we will do what we can…..to fix the data issue that is, not the orgasm thing. We are not talking dirty to you over the phone while you complain about data processing.

Fees For Data Issues

For normal, average, dull, boring, run-of-the-mill, not particularly special people, we are happy to do this one small thing free of charge (again, data processing, not the talking dirty) For those unique pain in the arses that complain for a living, expect a fee for wasting our time. How high the fee depends on how high our blood pressure gets dealing with you. We will charge £1 for every point on the blood pressure monitor which includes BOTH readings. Should dealing with you bring about death then we reserve the right to use twice the victims’ age.

Time Limits To Respond

For normal requests, we aim to comply within 28 days if possible. For abnormal requests, we aim to comply someday and that possibly might be in the next life.